Something that triggered memories...

Monday, September 24, 2007

[laronde.september.23.2oo7]

[How.was.Laronde.]
Well, with everyone being there, I guess I could say it was awesum. Well... It was fun in general, but Ryuta got sick and people where laughing at him... I felt so bad for the guy (>.<') And to top that off I got real depressed towards the last 2 hours. But we took lots of [picks] and it was still a fun day.

I understood practicly e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. the Jap guys where saying, and speeking a bit too, wich is amazing. But why the sadness I wondered...

[going.back.home]
After the trip, when the metro finally got wherever we were supposed to get off, I was supposed to go home with lizza and call my dad to pick me up, wich I really didn't want to do cause I didn't want to ask 3 times in 1 week to stay at her house.
I ended up in Nico's car with Jo, then his mom invited me for super before his dad could drive me home.

[Nick's.House]
Gee, I was quite shy, in the home of the guy that had occupied my thoughts for 1 year... accompanied by a real cute exchange student from Japan >_<' But it was very pleasent at the smae time looolll I had super with very little apetite, but his dad shure was glad I liked his shrimps ^^' His mom talks alot and very quicly so I couldn't pick up much of her Japanese. Nick's room is a museum !

[disaster.strikes]
Jo was browsing Nico's CD collecion.
I was on the bed enjoying the music and drinking water. Nick was on his CP. I felt confortable yet shy to be in a room with 2 guys. Then, nico told me that lizza wanted to talk to me on msn & that it didn't look too good. She was so mad at me. She though I did on per pas to plan to get stuck at her house to sleep over. She thinks I'm abusing her hospitality. She didn't believe me. She wrote these 'hahaha' s and said she's gona make me feel bad. It had allready worked more than enough. I was allready trying not to cry in front of Jo & Nicolas. I felt horrible.

[disaster.strikes.part.2]
Then things sort of shifted... and not for the best.
Nico comes and asks if I'm okay. He could see right threw me. I was stressing alot and he read that I was embarassed of talking to her in the room with the guys, he said not to be. He told me I was in his house, and that even if I auften feel bad about having many problems, that it was okai to talk about it with him. He sat me don and made me explane. He gave me a mini massage, told me to relax, put my favorite music(Dbsk) on, and asked permission to read our conversation. The sadness started to shift. I wanted to die. Like it wasn't enough that my favorite of friends who allways trusted me turned against me and will probably never trust me again, but here I was, in the room of nico that I had forgoten about for 4 months, only to find out I was still in love with him. I felt terrible. And he tried to un-stress me, I was holding back the tears real hard. But he didn't know that such a terrible thing switched back on in me. I wanted to go home. As much as I didn't want to leave nico's side I wanted to run to the bathroom or go home and stay away from him. But I didn't say a word and kept it in. This sort of thing can never be revealed, he was just starting to believe I just wanted to be friends. When I got back I went to my room. The tears were streaming down my face. My friend hated me and I found out I still loved nico. I was fucking lost.

It's 4:56 AM, I hardly slept at all. I'll go take my shower now. I don't know if I can wait for my appointment with Jean-Philipe at the end of the day. And the worst part is I feel like I need nico. This can't be happening.

1:12 AM

ಌ ☆○•♂

Friday, September 14, 2007

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fall is officialy here in 9 dayz

Well... School started about 2 weeks ago

I have to take 1 train & 2 buses to get to and back from school, but it's worth it, trust me.
Last year was the most dark, difficult, and dramatic year of my life. With being crazy in love with Akira, I thought my life would never be the same again. Well... It got better. As a matter of fact, things are finally going well for me this year. I finally genuinly feel like my life is perfect...

I

Autumn

I walk every morning and afternoon, and there's allways a painting in the sky and a fresh wind for me :) Then I get to see the sun rise on the lake from the train, and later on, the sun seting. I like to listen to the collage kids talking to each other, they're so mature, smart, and well balance, I admire them. I read my love Hina mangas in the buses. At school, I'm starting from scratch, I'm understanding things much better. I share a locker with Mimi :)

Lunch with Friends

Matias, Jo, and Girgi. 3 exchange students whom are temporarily attending our Canadian School. Lunch time is amasing since they've been here. At the lunch time, we are presently 2 greeks, 1 cambodian, 1 indian, 1 jap-iranian, 1 jap-armenian, 1 japanese, and 1 spanish-belge :P
We're all friends, that's great. Matias(the spanish-belge) and me enjoy learning Japanese from our fellow Japanese speakers, and I especially enjoy listening to them speak to each other and trying to understand as much as possibly. They don't know I'm doing that :P

LaRonde

Laronde is the theme park here in Quebec. We're all going next Sunday! Wow... Laronde in Autumn with my favorite friends! Including 3 cute Japs!! lol I can't wait.

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6:50 PM